The Worm Bite

Each year the firm I work for takes employees of a certain level on a retreat. The retreat is meant as a thank you for all the hard work, effort and hours. The retreat also serves as motivation for associates to pass the dreaded CPA exam. While there is free time during the retreat, there are also scheduled activities. This year we had the option of: golf, zip line canopy tour, river rafting or river tubing. Well, I don’t golf so that option was out. Zip lining didn’t seem like my thing…up in the air…depending on a cord to keep me alive. I have two friends from college who are totally into that and I’m sure would tell me my fears were unfounded…but nonetheless I decided against zip lining. Basically I’m a chicken so even river rafting sounded too much for me. I mean…people pop out of those rafts don’t they? So I went with tubing. It sounded relaxing and harmless right? I should have known better because with me, there is always a story.

The retreat was in Austin, TX this year. Austin hasn’t seen rain in three months (or more). The river rafters were told the “rapids” would be pretty wimpy because of the lack of rain. On Monday morning those of us rafting and tubing boarded a bus and headed out. When we got there we were given instructions. As it turns out, both the rafters and the tubers were going down the same portion of river. My thought was either the rafters were in for a very boring ride or the tubers were in for more adventure than they bargained for. I of course was hoping for the former.

In picking up a tube, we were all told to be sure to take a tube with a bottom because of the rocks in the river. I thought “Oh, a bottom, good. I like the idea of being somewhat protected from critters in the water.” I proceeded to get in the river with the rest of the tubers and immediately hit/bounce over some rocks…with impressive force I might add. “Oh boy, this is going to be an interesting ride. I sense bruises in my future” I thought to myself.

Things mellowed out as we all floated down the river. Those of you who know me well know that I don’t do well with critters…snakes included. I hadn’t even thought about snakes being in the river until the people who run the rafting/tubing place said something. I started talking to a fellow tuber about this and he said he had once had a pet snake. I told him he was going to have to float down the river next to me to handle any potential situation. Sure enough not long in to the journey, I saw something in the water, a head. I believe my panicked words were something to the effect of “Oh my gosh fellow tuber, please tell me that is a turtle.” Much to my relief it was. Turns out, there were lots of turtles in the river.

Part of our instructions prior to launching was to stay left at a certain spot and to go through the center of a bridge when we got to the dam. Easy enough right? If you haven’t caught on by now, easy was not an appropriate description of this activity. The group began to approach what looks to be a divide. This must be where we stay left. The closer we got to the divide and rapids the faster and stronger the current moved. We were all frantically trying to stay left, paddling our tubes with our arms as fast and hard as we could. Some of us were successful, others were not. I am happy to say I was able to stay to the left by running myself into a tree and pushing off to the left.

There were peaceful sections of the river which provided our arms and rear ends a break from the currents and the rocks. We all marveled at the number of turtles. Some were quite large. They could be seen poking their heads through the water and soaking up the sun on fallen tree limbs. I will admit to some moments of internal freaking out when it looked like a turtle was headed straight for me. Oh trust me, sometimes they appeared to be swimming right at me.

As the end was approaching, the bridge over the dam came into view. Now recall, we were told to go through the middle. We were also told to be sure to go over feet first otherwise we would flip out of the tube. This would have been painful. Three of us were out in front of the pack by quite a distance. As we approached the bridge the sound of the water going over the dam got louder and louder and louder. The three of us started getting very nervous because the intensity of the upcoming rapid sounded ominous. As we approached, we lined up for the middle and decided to go down together. We started to slowly approach the dam (the current wasn’t very strong surprisingly). Here it comes…closer…starting to speed up…looking like a big drop…here is comes…we are about to go over…tuber 1 and 2 go over…I get stuck!!! That’s right…I’m stuck on a huge rock at the top of the dam with water rushing feverishly around. The following is my internal dialogue as the situation is unfolding “No big deal right? Just wriggle myself free. Oh but wait, trying to lean forward is stupid because I most definitely will fall over head first. Ok, that won’t work. Let’s try to turn sideways and then correct the position. Here we go, this is working, I’m starting to move. Oh crap!!” I start to go over and flip out of the tube desperately trying to hold onto the tube and grab a rock. The rock was moss covered making it slippery and quite disgusting. I gain my footing and end up semi standing. “Ok…things are under control. Now how in the world to I get back in this tube without going backwards which will undoubtedly result in disaster? It has to be one quick, smooth motion.” I land in the tube somewhat sideways, quickly adjust myself and the position of my tube and make it the rest of the way over unscathed. My ankles feel sore, must have bumped them but otherwise I’m ok. I caught up to my two fellow dam divers and we watched the rest of the group approach and go over.

The remainder of the float to the river exit is uneventful. Now you may be asking, “so how did you get bit by a worm?” Hold on…I’m getting there. The rest of the trip is calm. The current starts to get stronger as we approach the exit. Once again we must paddle with our arms. We determined that turning backwards seems to be the best way to guide the tube. I’m almost to the exit when I feel an intense pinch on my ankle. I whip my foot out of the water and see what looks like a piece of a leaf on my ankle. I flick it. The leaf shrivels up and latches again. “Oh gross this is not a leaf!!!!” It is some sort of little worm guy. In one quick and panicked motion I flick/pull the worm off. And let me tell you, it stung for the rest of the night.

Now, 2 days later, I can still see a little hole and a half inch long red mark with the worm got me. And that is how I got bit by a worm. There is always a story!

P.S. – For those of you who are curious, I do indeed have some lovely black and blues on my derrière.